I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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