no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
