Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
