We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
