No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
