Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
smell my finger.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
