Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
