On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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