wakey wakey hands off snakey
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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