No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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