Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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