Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
