i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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