:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize