Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
