Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
