Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
