My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
