non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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