dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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