I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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