i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
