He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
