You're completely useless in the revolution.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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