ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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