I bet he comes in French.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
