i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
