areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
