If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
