I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
