He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
