what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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