And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dicks are not precious.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
