On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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