I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
