did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
