How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
