Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
