she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize