I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
