We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize