Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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