Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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