Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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