so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
