return my video game
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
