Dual....:-)
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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