it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
