at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
