just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So vagazzling was a success
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
