im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
