Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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