please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
