i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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