she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
