I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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