i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize