A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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