things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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