I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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