Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
