we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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